"Compassion is the basis of all morality." Arthur Schopenhauer

Each & everyone of us makes mistakes daily. We all mess up. We don't always have good intentions. We say things to hurt. We even do things to hurt. We have feelings and those feelings get stepped on. Therefore, we are vengeful. We get our hearts broken. We are a self-seeking society. We make poor decisions. We don't always learn from mistakes & we add to those poor decisions. How do we get off-track? What gets us in these situations? We are human. We are SO imperfect. We are SO undeserving. We walk this earth with our hands and our hearts extended out. We always want more. Our hearts long to be loved by people who are never capable of loving. While all of these things seem disheartening, it's dropping to another level below any kind of general mistakes or bad attitudes.

This world is changing, my friends. Anything goes. Literally - anything. I am having a hard time adjusting to this. Commitments & promises have lost all value. Standards & morals are practically non-existent. Devilish offers & invitations are gladly accepted among those whom you would never imagine. Those who are closest to you. It is gut-wrenching. People you love turn against you and scrape below the surface of the earth. Betrayal & rejection are two emotions that way too many good people here in this world are getting double-doses of. Does anyone have any self-value?

It seems as if everything is changing all around us. Perhaps it seems abundantly clear to me because of some of the circumstances I have (unfortunately) been exposed to. But as Jake & I were just discussing last night, "What ever happened to morality?" Could you guys help me out and explain what EVER happened to morality? Why are the most immoral acts to mankind suddenly acceptable & popular? When did people simply become objects? What happened to respect & compassion? What makes us think we can abuse what God has so graciously blessed us with? If you can't find any self-respect, where is your pride? There is absolutely no shame. Discouraging, to say the least.

The more I'm around people, the more I like dogs!

Well... today is a special day! It's Hattie's 3rd birthday. I have had such a great 3 years with her and this sounds silly, but I can't imagine not having her. She continues to be such a blessing in my life & I am very thankful to be her owner!! She has been an angel to me in a lot of different little ways. After the loss of Wrigley, I have been even MORE aware of how much I enjoy her. Even when it's annoying to make sure she's gone out enough, make sure she has food & water, etc.... it's still fun. It's fun because I love her. And isn't that what life is REALLY all about? I enjoy loving. It's just me. It gets me in trouble sometimes because it isn't always reciprocated back..... and that's when another life lesson is learned. At the end of each day/week/month/year I think the pro's of this "hang-up" of mine should probably outweigh the cons. So, I'm just gonna keep on loving. Cause that's who I am. Right or wrong, different or indifferent, painful or easy, strong or weak - I can't change who I am. How's that? :-)
So, I'm starting to notice a difference in the lifeguards when I walk into the pool area. They don't seem so stressed and worried anymore. Today is the first day that the lifeguard did not put on his/her whistle, grab the enlarged hotdog looking float & climb up in his chair. He actually sat in a regular office chair in front of the office & didn't seem to be in the "ready" position! LOL. That means somebody must be makin progress!!!!!!!!!!!! Woot! Woot!! Why can't I have this lifeguard? I bet I'd never get any better because I'd be so distracted. LOL.

Monday I ran 4 miles on the treadmill, then swam for 25 minutes. This was my best swim so far. Not that any of them are worth saying I am actually continuously swimming, but as far as me surviving - my survival rate was highest on this day. Tuesday I slept a little later and got my workout in at lunch. I ran 6 miles in 51:48 at an 8:38 pace. This morning I got up at 4:50, got on my trainer and did a tough 1 hour ride, then threw on my swimsuit, packed my work clothes & headed to the pool for a 30 minute swim. I only swam 700 yards, BUT I am getting more comfortable each time. I am not scared to death anymore & I am actually anxious to see improvement. Still..... stopping between each lap. :-( I've got to figure out a way to swim the RIGHT way to where I am not smoked after 50 yds. To the best of my knowledge, there is no triathlon with just a 50 yard swim!

Tomorrow I plan to do a 5 mile run & then on Friday I want to do nothing but a 1 hour swim before work. This may be where I see great improvement! Well - that's what I'm hoping for!