Starting Over from the Bottom

Today I planned to take my left knee on a test drive... I haven't noticed as much tenderness or soreness lately. I haven't run on it in almost 2 weeks and that was only a 3 miler. Since then I have vowed to do no running until I can do it almost pain-free or until I've seen a doctor. So this past week I rode my trainer for 55 minutes Tues night, 1 hour Thursday night and 1 hour and 10 minutes on Saturday.

I am expecting around a 1/2 mile for the pain to set in and intensify around 1.5 so bad that I will be back in the same boat. So, at lunch I slide into my short sleeve tech shirt and went out for a leisurely jog in 62 degrees. Goal? 3 miles. No pace, no nothing. Just trying to see how much progress I've made with no weight bearing activites for 2 weeks. Just an experiment. There is something serene about a run where there are no expectations, no set pace you feel compelled to hit, and no certain distance you are locked into because "the plan says so."

Mile 0.5 - feeling good. Hmmm.... COOL! Mile 1.0 - nothing. No pain. Still doing well except for this gosh-awful side stitch that is in my extreme lower abdomen on my right side. Talk about a CRAMP! Ouch. Usually I push right through anyting like this and heck -- it's been forever since I've gotten one. What is wrong? Am I already totally out of shape so bad I'm starting over and my body is freaking? Have I forgotten how to breathe? My legs felt heavy, I didn't have any sort of rhythym in my stride or my breathing. I think the 2 week break made my body forget how to run!!! I couldn't take the pain anymore. I walked 50 yards pressing it as hard as I could until it went away. Mile 1.5..... a slight twinge of pain in the knee. Hmmm... Ok, so if I have to rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 I would say my pain level was only 1.5!!! I can tolerate that. However, I do not want to push it. Still sticking to 3 miles. It took me 27:23 for the measley 3 mile run. That's ok though! I am back in my running shoes. I may have forgotten how to run or how to breathe, but I can start over can't I? I've done this before -- just not on week 10 of a marathon training plan! :-/

A couple of verses in a Cher song "Starting Over"

Starting over again
From the second time around
Coming back to win
Starting over again
Take the first step
And let it begin
Starting over, starting over

Take another look inside
Where you always have a fight
Never dream of giving up, never
No looking back

Black Betty - UPGRADED ~ Aerostyle :-)))

"The secret to mountain biking is pretty simple. The slower you go the more likely it is you'll crash." ~Julie Furtado

Sunday was beautiful -- in every definition of beauty. There is nothing more peaceful and liberating than when the seasons begin to change. 70 degrees and breezy. I caught myself sitting out on my deck at 10am with a simple bottle of water, a tank top and an old pair of shorts soaking it up. If there had been any dandilions in my yard, I would have pretended to be a little girl and picked them. That's how excited I was over this weather! I felt intoxicated by the sunshine. No sunglasses, no sun block, no pony-tail holder... I wanted to take as much in as possible. Wonderful way to start the day--besides not going to church. I do believe there are times when one can commune with God just as easily or easier in the presence of no one but himself. Surrounded in the pureness of his creation with nothing to distract. It was nice.

K picked me up at 1:30 and we headed to Chickasaw Trace mountain bike trails! It takes an hour 15 from my house. We pulled into the park and saw my zenful buddies - Jamie, Abby, & Angela! They had just finished a lap and they were chilling out! We hit the trail around 3:00. I am terrible at this first section - it's probably 1/3 of a mile or less and it freaks me out. I have never even attempted to ride it. I get off my bike in anticipation of this section. I started pushing -- and I started pushing before it even required a push! I wipmed out. Just looking at that section was enough for me to bail... K thinks if I would not think about it so much and pick my line, I could glide right through it. Hmmm.... I don't think I have enough testosterone in me to try it though! This hurt my mph average - Pushing at 2-3mph for quite a ways hurts when you're trying to average close to 9 on a climbing trail. Even though I didn't make EVERY single section -- (I pushed here and one section at mile 8 on the black hills part that's pretty technical)-- I did make it through many more sections than I even attempted last time. Which is just enough to make me want to go back for more.

I think I feed off of the least amount of progress. I love getting better at things. Whether it's work-related, fitness level, skill level or whatever -- if I can see the slightest bit of improvement, I crave a little more! I just knew I could not make the longest climb on the course. I have made 2 failed attempts at it in the past. This time K climbed it and I watched intensely so that I could follow his line. Then he came back down to climb it again behind me!!! Brave soul!! I wouldn't want to be anywhere close to me on a technical climb, especially when my confidence level is near zero! But I took off in my next to easiest gear on the back, but still in the middle ring on the front to create a little resistance since I was standing. I dodged the roots on the left, then I dodged the roots on the right which allowed me to keep my speed up just enough to stay clipped in and barely moving. When I finally fought my way to the top (which seemed like eternity) I jumped off the Tassajara, laid her down, and I joined her flat on my bike! Total WUSS! My chest was exploding to the max looking for oxygen and my legs were shaking incontrollably! What a sight!!!! Pure exhaustion!!!! There were several other sections that I was successful on for the first time. Some of them I would look at it and think "You're going down Holly. You realize that. Just DO IT. At least try it. All you can do is just pedal hard and try to pick the most sensible line and do not slow down no matter what or the obstacles will crash you! Pedal, my friend -- PEDAL!!" It was a great feeling and just 1 lap of 8.11 was enough for me. I was SPENT!!!! My clothes were soaked! This was the toughest 8 miles I've ever done. I am dissapointed in my time though - 1:04. That is not what I was hoping for. I was hoping for closer to 1:00 even. Regardless, I am pleased because my effort level stepped up a notch and my confidence is building by leaps and bounds. Even though I am no where near a competitive race pace or skill level, I am making progress. And most of all -- I am having fun. And having fun is really what it's all about :-) Oh... and I almost forgot. No CRASHES!!!! YAY!!

MTB with Protection!!!

I wore knee pads on this mountain bike ride to protect my terribly banged up knees that have NOW knocked me out of doing any marathon training. Thus... the reason I trekked out a 14.5 mile mountain bike ride at AEDC today with K and Jamie!!! I'll post more later on the ride... in the meantime - check out the pics!!!







Ok, so after I've just stuffed my face with a hawaiin ribeye and baked potato, I am back to posting! Jamie and I came to my house and showered and headed to Boskey's! Ah.... what a day! So, it all started with getting up at 8 & letting Hattie out. Then the bed just kept calling for me and I caved in. I mean - dove in! The next thing I know it's 10:50am! YAY! That was good sleep and I loved it and I don't care that I slept the day away....... I'm all for it! So I met Jamie and we headed to the base and met K. The weather was beautiful today! 58 degrees and SUNNY! We rode about 2.8 miles into the trail and Jamie comes walking towards us pushing her bike. She looks rough. Pale. Then she gets sick out on the trail! OMG... poor thing!!! We still have no idea why she was so sick, but she felt better about 10 minutes later and finished the first 8.1 mile loop! Can you say SOLDIER? So we sat around for a few minutes and I finally got K to take me on another loop. This time we did the tougher part of the trail by going right at the fork. This is more technical and way more climbing. I rode HARD!!! I tried to keep him in my sight but it is still slightly impossible. However, one time he stopped at the top of a climb to wait on me and said I was about 1 minute and 15 seconds behind him. Heck... compare that to last year - it was like... a 10 minute wait for him probably! So I am making some progress.

We finished this loop completing 6.4 miles for a total of 14.5 miles for the day averaging 8.0 mph. This second 6 mile loop beat me DOWN! I was fighting for a breath of air just 2 miles into it. My back was aching and I felt smoked from head to toe! I think this is the only way I'm gonna improve though - ride hard pretending to race... even though my pace is not quite up to a race pace. Great news - no crashes. 14.5 miles and not a single crash. There were a couple of near mishaps, but I fought through it! So, even though I didn't actually utilize the knee pads.... I have to admit I felt a bit better about them being on my brickle knees.

Isn't it funny how cycling doesn't irritate my knee at all and it never hurts but running a half mile buckles it under and it shuts down on me? Well... there may be some irritation. It's extremely stiff tonight and not wanting to bend or straighten.

Sweet..... or not so sweet 16

My knee has given me fits all week. Not the injured knee from the skiing accident, but the knee I smashed last Saturday in a mountain bike crash. It's still swollen, extremely tender, scabbed over and blue-ish, red and I'm having problems with it being really stiff. When I sit at my desk at work and don't move it for awhile it literally will not bend. When I have it straightened out and try to bend it, it doesn't want to do that either. This week I ran 4 Monday morning before work - it hurt very very badly - right around mile 2 if I woulda had my phone, I woulda been waking someone up to come pick me up! Tuesday it seemed to feel some better so Tues night I went to the rec and ran 5. At mile 2, it was excrucitating pain. So I stay off it the rest of the week. No trainer - nothing - until yesterday. I had 16 on my schedule for my long run. So I reported to work early and left around 3-ish to do 16 miles in Tullahoma. Mile 1, I can feel a twinge of pain in the knee. Mile 2 - still feeling it. Mile 3 - hmm... still there but this is tolerable. If it doesn't get much worse I think I'll be ok. Mile 8 I climb a hill on Carter Blake road that really set me into a fit. I took a shot block & drank more water out of my fuel belt. So I gutted out the last 8 miles probably in the most pain ever. I was running right around sub 8:30 miles until I hit mile 13 - the pace dropped to around 9:10 I think.... mile 14 - I died. I look at the garmin - PACE-10:36. OUCH!!! My body is not wanting to go forward. PUSH, Holly PUSH. You are too close to stop now. Meet our goal!!! OMG... Outta gas. DEAD LEGS. That was the point where I'm saying "pick up your right foot, now scoot your left foot" and I felt like I was shuffling out the last 2 miles and every part of my body was shot - gone! I completely broke down at mile 14 - I think that's the first time I've ever really experienced a true breakdown where I didn't think I could make it. Pure misery after mile 13. I really did not expect to feel like that until I did an 18 miler.... but I was wrong. Total time: 2:23:55 - 8:59 pace. I am not as strong as I thought - the 16 miler was a whole different ballgame. How will I EVER add 10 more to that? I don't see it. Even 1 more woulda been outta the question. I think I'm going to start trying some GU.

My knee is in a pittiful shape today. It hurt for even a blanket to touch it last night in bed. I'm taking ibuprofen which seems to take the edge off.... but the tenderness and stiffness is indescribable right now. How do I handle this for this week's training?

So, I've noticed a trend. After every long run (12 or more) I have flu-like/stomach virus symptoms for approximately 3 hours afterwards. We are talking.... cold chills, almost as if I'm running a fever. Extreme stomach and digestive issues and can't decide if it's going to come out of one end... or the other. It really sucks because I am SHOT for pretty much an entire day when I do a long-run. This time I even forced half a blueberry muffin down when I got home to try and avoid the sick feeling. I did not feel any better until I got up this morning. Anyone have any advice or suggestions? Am I dehydrating myself and it's causing nausea? What am I doing wrong?

Zen in the air... and over the handlebars!!! :-/

Today was an awesome day for mountain biking. K & I met Brent and Jason at the AEDC mountain bike trails at 8am this morning. It was so much fun. I felt a lot better about riding today after riding last Saturday at Chickasaw Trace with Lana, and 2 new friends Mandy and Angela. Wow, this was such a fun day. After Chickasaw we went to PF Changs. After stuffing our faces we headed for the Grand Ol Opry.... excellent as always. Then onto the STAGE :-) I always have fun in there.
Angela taught us about riding with "zen," - control and flowing with a mountain bike where no wheel can be placed wrong. I was very relaxed today - for the first time ever. K & Brent are super fast... so I knew keeping up with them was outta the question. This was Jason's second ride ever, and he gave me all I could handle. Impressive! :-) We did the hard section first by taking a right and doing most of the hills. The trail was in excellent shape!! It's being ridden more this year and that makes it easier on all of us. I had 2 major crashes. 1) I was heading down hill with lots of sliding rocks and met Bob Alt head on, got a little distracted, started sliding, tried to unclip and I am really not sure what happened but my bike went down with a vengeance! Ouch my left knee (the only healthy one left) slammed on a sharp rock and OMG - PAIN. PAIN and the PAIN increased. I sersiouly felt like I was going to puke everywhere. The guys wanted to stand around and wait for me to recover but OMG - I really wanted everything and everyone away from me. I was scared to look through my cold gear, so after about 1 minute or so I jumped up and took off again. It looks like my knee has been hit with a sledge hammer. Skin is broken but that's not the bad part - it's the huge knot on it and I'm having trouble bending it. As I type, I am icing it. :-/ It is scary looking - like there's a small plum sitting on my knee cap. 2) K & I had just climbed our last major hill. I was on his back wheel like white on rice - getting a little too frisky. Just as I was about to make a snide comment, his brakes slam (brake check to the MAX!) to make a turn, I SLAM my front brake and my snide comment was called to heaven. I ate his back wheel, somehow he survived with no crash and I felt myself flipping in the air. WHEEEEEEE!!!!! - front flip over the handlebars. All I could see was my beautiful blue mountain bike flipping over me and I gracefully landed on the right front of my head. Thank God for a helmet. My head took a blow like never before and I saw major stars and felt extremely discombobulated. This was just short of 5 minutes of when Brent showed us how to jump a huge log - where he "ZEN-fully" flipped over his bars and body-planted into the ground. OUCH!!!!! These were some true kodak moments.... that I failed to capture :-/ Here are some pictures of our ride that I did manage to snap though.

Personal Record - BROKEN! :-)

"The mind learns the body can go at least a bit farther even though it feels increasingly uncomfortable." - Pritkin

I did it!!! I went further than ever before! I never thought I'd see the day I'd attempt anything longer than a half marathon. But today, February 9, 2007 starting at approximately 4:20am and finishing at 6:30-ish was the day! I met Lana at the rec center at 4:17am temp was 38 degrees, only to hear a hard-core chest cough she had. I wasn't so sure she should attempt it. It seems like she never lets anything stop her? Wish I had that in me! If I heard myself cough like that, I would STILL be laying in bed. We snapped a quick picture, strapped on our fuel belts and took off.


We ran to interstate drive and took a right. Ran all the way to the main intersection, where we took a left. We took a right on Jackson St (Food Lion), a right on Parks Street (United Regional hospital - or "Old hospital" as most often referred to) a right back onto McArthur, straight through the main intersection. We hit the greenway, ran a couple of laps around the parking lot until Mike got there. Mike has announced that he will be running for state senate. He met us at 5:30 to run the last 7. We waited around for 2-3 min while he got ready and we took off again for the 2nd half of my longest run ever :-) I was feeling great. This run seemed like CAKE compared to the 12 miles in 13 degrees at an 8:35 pace. I made comments on how "comfortable" I felt compared to how numb and cold my face was 2 weeks ago! So, on our second half of the run Lana's chest issues got worse and she started feeling bad. I felt horrible for her... I really can't imagine what it must have been like. I know she was not up to par because she stopped talking and once I turned around at mile 11 and looked at her and her eyes were completely shut. I said "You ok Lan????" She responded with "I'm here." We pushed on and finally finished. Total time was 2:12 for a 9:25 pace. Much slower than normal, but we did have that 2-3 minute lag of time in the rec parking lot so that accounts for some of the lost time.


"Anybody can do just about anything with himself that he really wants to and makes his mind to do. We are capable of greater than we realize."
- Norman Vincent Peale


I am THRILLED that I went longer. And I felt stronger! That's great for the confidence. My knee never hurt me the first time.... until I drove home and got out of my car. I did think it might explode!!! I came home and took a hot bath, thawed my hair out and got ready for work. We have a safety standown meeting at 12:30 and OMG...... will I EVER make it through it without falling asleep? That may be more challenging than the 14 mile run!

Tomorrow Lana & I have plans to go do the Women's Beginner pre-race ride at Chickasaw Trace mountain bike park, then to Jamie's to take showers and get ready for the GRAND 'OL OPRY! It is at the Ryman this weekend and the Ryman is my favorite upright structure in the world. After the Opry if we have anything left in us we may hit the BIG BANG - piano bar across the street! I am SO excited! I have such a good sister! Now, Lana, GO TO THE DOCTOR! :-)

Week 5 is complete. 11 more weeks until CMM. I logged 25 miles and a Suffer-O-Rama trainer ride for this week... and 2 laps of Chickasaw Trace if all goes well tomorrow!

Goodluck to Tim, Lee, Heather, & Michele this weekend in Birmingham! Those hills are only as bad as you perceive them. Hang in there guys! I'm looking forward to seeing some great results. You can DO IT!!!!

"To a crazy ship all winds are contrary." George Herbert

Well you know what it's like when your alarm goes off....... and for ONCE -- I repeat ONCE -- in two weeks you are finally sleeping like a baby. The alarm BANGS out at 5:45am and instead of hitting snooze, or staying calm you jump.... grab it with both hands and skip clean over the snooze and hit OFF! That's right. I don't want you to remind me in 9 minutes to get up and cycle out to Suffer-O-Rama. I demand that you leave me alone. To hell with it! :-) That was me yesterday morning.

So you know what that means... Tuesday night I had a date with Coach Troy Jacobson. Troy was in the mood to make me stand, sit, stand, sit, stand, sit. My knee did not like Troy. About 2/3 of the way through the 55 min video we adopted the strategy of only standing every OTHER time he said "Stand up!" I am glad because my knee was screaming at me this morning when I got up. When the video was over (finally!) I cleaned up the sweat off the floor and did 3 sets of crunches on my ottoman. I think that is my first ab exercise in at least a year, if not more. I had planned on doing my arms a bit, but I think I got distracted and never did. Ha! See how focused I am? Hmmm.... sounds like something I need to work on.

Last night the storms were awful! I woke up at 4am and would have bet a benjamin the big window by my bed was going to shatter onto me! So, Hattie and I made our way into the living room (the center of my house) and piled up on the couch and spent an hour with the weather man. When things calmed down, it was back to the bed until 8am!

Hattie got groomed today. Isn't she a prize! :-) Well, I think so and that's all that matters! :-) So I rushed her to the groomer's this morning and I finally got to work... only to wish I wasn't there. Things have been SOOO crazy lately. There needs to be 6 of me. I have so many things to do I catch myself looking at the wall not knowing which one I should work on next. And should I juggle them and do a little on each? Or ignore everything else until I get the first task completed? Oh well - at the end of the day it all pays the same.

I spent my lunch break in awe at how powerful our God is.... and how powerful his mighty winds were!! Let's hope the old song "Storms Never Last," by Waylon Jennings and Jessie Colter still stands because I won't get far with my training plan if the winds don't die down! It was great when it was at my back - the first 3.8 miles. But when I turned around to head back for the last 2.2, I felt like I was running against a concrete wall. I was determined I wouldn't quit. "Push Holly. What if it's like this at CMM? You better be prepared. Think of how easy the next run will feel if the winds are calm?" I was having to hurdle big garbage cans, jump off the sidewalk to avoid small ponds, etc... It was ironic that I was out running in the elements of nature. I feel as though my life has been so stormy for 2 weeks now. And I was reminded that even though the winds were pushing me backwards, and whipping my body out of control, and I was hurdling objects in my way..... I'd make it back to my car. I'd finish that race. Just like I'll make it and finish with honor (as Bethany reminds me) in the other areas of my life. Thank you stormy winds for reminding me of these truths. Hey.... I made it. I am stronger for it! 6 miles in 52:20. Average pace = 8:43.

Tomorrow is a rest day. So the next time I post, I am hoping to post that I just completed my longest run ever. 14 miles!!!! Stay tuned....

I Found this Song....

"Cry Out to Jesus" by Third Day

To everyone who's lost someone they loved
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When you're lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

Isn't that touching? Or am I just feeling soft lately? I feel like that song spoke to me. It seems like it's a song of "release." I tend to live my life holding onto things that are better off letting go. I am long-suffering. I do not go down easy. I will fight...... and fight...... and hurt.... and hurt. I will justify things that are simply not justifiable. I will beat myself down & convince myself that I deserved the unfairness and wreckless actions of other people towards me. Where is my breaking point? Surely it's coming soon? When do I throw in the towel? Or will I ever? What's it gonna take? Something bigger than me, that's for sure! I think I need to throw it. I think I need to give it to God.

Speaking of long-suffering.... I suffered a long 8 miles on the treadmill Saturday morning. Whew! My longest treadmill run to date! Not something I really want to get used to. I'm craving the road!!! I pulled my cold gear on this morning around 6am, headed to the door only to hear "Grrrrrrhhhh!!!!" Thunder? You're kidding. I check weather.com. What's the deal guys? It wasn't supposed to rain was it? Website says currently light scattered showers. Hmmm... I aint SKEERED! I'm dressed. I'm freakin doing it. Little rain won't melt me. I haven't felt all that sweet lately anyways :-) I fill my water bottle and see "FLASH!" out the window and "Grrrrrhh" again. The PPSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!!! Rain is pouring. Well, I just got a little sweeter and decided I didn't wanna do that to myself. I rip the cold gear tights off and throw on a pair of shorts and t-shirt. So there I am - beating out 5 miles on the treadmill. Trying to simulate hills with every mile.

Tomorrow is a trainer day - I get the joy of doing Spinervals Suffer-O-RAMA! 55 minutes of Coach Troy - this will be my first Spinervals. Guess what this weekend has in store for me!!! Friday - my longest run EVER. 14 miles. My first run that will require a fuel belt! This is going to be huge for me! I know it's not to the rest of the bloggers.... but for me - this is a record broken. IF I make it. I hope I do..... let's pray I push through it simply for confidence. And Saturday??? Well I am excited. Lana & I tenatively have plans to go to the Chickasaw Trace mountain bike women's pre-ride! Thanks to Jamie for letting me know!!! Last time I rode at Chickasaw I prayed for weeks afterwards thanking God for allowing me to survive!!! I'm not a very natural mountain biker at all. Very herky-jerky and have no guts at all. The whole time I feel like I'm going to cry. Afterwards we are talking about finding a shower somewhere and hitting PF Changs!!! Yesssssssssss!!!!!!!! I love me some CHANGS! Then possibly the Opry? What a fun day!!! I hope it all works out!

1 Week of R&R + 2400mg of Ibuprofen per day

So, I don't think I'm exactly outta the game juuuuust yet. I broke down and went to see the nurse practioner about my knee today. She seems to think I may have a minor tear or done some minor cartilage damage when I was skiing. I got some prescription strength I-BU and FNP's orders to stay off of it for a week.

I did manage to get in a 4-mile run with Lana yesterday during lunch. 36:22. No major knee pain after about a quarter of a mile. No major knee pain last night! I woke up at 4am this morning. Tried to go back to sleep for 25 min - couldn't do it. Too much on my mind. So I hopped on my trainer for a 1 hour dvd. What a workout! The question is............ will I obey FNP's orders or will I hit the road and finish out week 4? :-/