"The definition to insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results."

The inevitable. Don’t you hate it when you know you’re headed in one direction, you’d really rather not go there. It’s not just going to be uncomfortable, it’s going to hurt. It’s too late though. Brace yourself. Plant your feet into the ground and stand firm – because you’re going. It may not be the right decision or right action to take. It also may not be the wrong action to take. I suppose even the wrong action is better than no action at all. Standing in the middle and taking no action at all has gotten you nowhere but further behind. It’s caused you to doubt everything you’re encountered with. The uncertainties of life knock on all the doors. They are little devils that tap me on the shoulder and say “Holly, I’m back. I’m going to make you wonder who you are, what you’re all about. I’m going to question everything you do. I’m here to bring you the gift of doubt. Don’t trust yourself. Wait wait wait!!! There might be hope? Or maybe not? Just sit tight. Don’t do a thing you might regret. Idle yourself.” These uncertainties shatter our confidence into a million pieces. The next thing you know, you’re right in the middle of a hamster cage, repeating the same vicious cycle. It’s hard to go. It’s equally hard to stay.

Onto the positive notes of this week…. Tuesday I managed to get in a 5.5 mile run during the middle of the day. I really wanted this to magically be a 7 miler, but my starting point was a little closer to my destination than I had originally calculated. It was hot, I am tired emotionally and physically, so I headed back to finish with 5.5. I could loop around again & make it an even 6? Nah! Woops… forgot to do my lunges. I thought about it the next day. Lol. So much for that!

Wednesday I needed a bike ride since I am being coerced into attempting my first century ride this weekend at the Harpeth River Ride in Franklin. Lana & I had originally planned to commute to and from work, but she had some other shiz going on with her Ironman plan so I did my own thing. I sat out for a 16 mile mach tenn course ride. I averaged 19.2 on the first half of it… but by the time I had to get off my bike twice to toss it over the barricades and bulldozers blocking the bridge, my total average was only 18.8. Why am I slow? I should be able to break at least 19.5 out here. Oh well… keep spinning and try again later. Yesterday I slept right on through my 5:30am alarm. I brought some running clothes with me to make up for it during lunch. I wasn’t feeling it at lunch either though. I forced my mind and my body to not let myself down. I knocked it out after work. A 5 mile run in 46 minutes and 20 phat seconds.

As far as today goes, I’m commited to being lazy. I am worried about tomorrow. 100 miles? What is that going to feel like? Will I get to the 42 mile split off that separates the 60 mile ride with the 100 mile ride and settle for the 60? I have not ridden enough to attempt this. Once again – I am going to show up for an event only about 50% trained. Same story, different day. I tried to convince Lana to leave at 4am with me this morning and head down to the redneck rivieria (any destination within 8 hours of here that sits on the Gulf of Mexico) and spend the day on the beach, get up at 5 tomorrow morning and instead of doing the Harpeth River Ride, just create our own ride. I already named this ride! "Redneck Riviera Ride." Ride 100 miles along the coast and our rest stations will be air conditioned gas stations. I offered to pay for every stitch of it if she’d agree to go with me. All I could think of is vegging out on the beach with a beer cooler after completing a flat 100 miles. Not a care in the world! Cell phones are dead. Then eating snow crab legs for dinner. This girl would not agree to it! She has kids, therefore she has obligations. Can’t blame her. But ohhhhhhhhhhh........ it was a grand idea! :-/