I Found this Song....

"Cry Out to Jesus" by Third Day

To everyone who's lost someone they loved
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When you're lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

Isn't that touching? Or am I just feeling soft lately? I feel like that song spoke to me. It seems like it's a song of "release." I tend to live my life holding onto things that are better off letting go. I am long-suffering. I do not go down easy. I will fight...... and fight...... and hurt.... and hurt. I will justify things that are simply not justifiable. I will beat myself down & convince myself that I deserved the unfairness and wreckless actions of other people towards me. Where is my breaking point? Surely it's coming soon? When do I throw in the towel? Or will I ever? What's it gonna take? Something bigger than me, that's for sure! I think I need to throw it. I think I need to give it to God.

Speaking of long-suffering.... I suffered a long 8 miles on the treadmill Saturday morning. Whew! My longest treadmill run to date! Not something I really want to get used to. I'm craving the road!!! I pulled my cold gear on this morning around 6am, headed to the door only to hear "Grrrrrrhhhh!!!!" Thunder? You're kidding. I check weather.com. What's the deal guys? It wasn't supposed to rain was it? Website says currently light scattered showers. Hmmm... I aint SKEERED! I'm dressed. I'm freakin doing it. Little rain won't melt me. I haven't felt all that sweet lately anyways :-) I fill my water bottle and see "FLASH!" out the window and "Grrrrrhh" again. The PPSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!!! Rain is pouring. Well, I just got a little sweeter and decided I didn't wanna do that to myself. I rip the cold gear tights off and throw on a pair of shorts and t-shirt. So there I am - beating out 5 miles on the treadmill. Trying to simulate hills with every mile.

Tomorrow is a trainer day - I get the joy of doing Spinervals Suffer-O-RAMA! 55 minutes of Coach Troy - this will be my first Spinervals. Guess what this weekend has in store for me!!! Friday - my longest run EVER. 14 miles. My first run that will require a fuel belt! This is going to be huge for me! I know it's not to the rest of the bloggers.... but for me - this is a record broken. IF I make it. I hope I do..... let's pray I push through it simply for confidence. And Saturday??? Well I am excited. Lana & I tenatively have plans to go to the Chickasaw Trace mountain bike women's pre-ride! Thanks to Jamie for letting me know!!! Last time I rode at Chickasaw I prayed for weeks afterwards thanking God for allowing me to survive!!! I'm not a very natural mountain biker at all. Very herky-jerky and have no guts at all. The whole time I feel like I'm going to cry. Afterwards we are talking about finding a shower somewhere and hitting PF Changs!!! Yesssssssssss!!!!!!!! I love me some CHANGS! Then possibly the Opry? What a fun day!!! I hope it all works out!